Mi Casa Es Su Casa
Have you ever been a visitor to someone’s home where there was an awkward atmosphere of perfection or you felt your manners, vocabulary & presence being scrutinized? Were there house rules? Did they seem reasonable or restrictive? Did you sense disapproval? Did you shorten your visit or find ways to “disappear” and make yourself scarce?
It’s only natural that we aren’t a fit with everyone. An invitation may have been extended to others, or from others, with little knowledge or experience of who they are away from the office, gym, school, parent group, or wherever you met. Coming into someone’s home space, their nest, a vulnerable and very personal environment, changes the relationship forever. And sometimes that’s not quite what one or the other (or either) are ready for. Unfortunately, we may not discover this until we find ourselves together in these intimate situations. It can happen with any size of group visit but seems much more noticeable with less ppl. You know the feeling, suddenly there’s nothing to talk about, nowhere to look and reaching for your phone would just be rude. This awkwardness may be unexpected, considering you found enough in common (or at least an obligation of some form) to extend or accept the invitation, yet, here you are.
Oh! And what do you think of those guests who have a delightful way of making you feel like an outsider when they pointedly emphasize how familiar they are with the host, and the home, from their frequent visits or closeness? Yet, others are gifted in furthering the host’s hospitality with this same familiarity.
How do you handle the awkward scenarios and still salvage the relationship?
What kind of host are you? What kind of guest are you? How about others living with you who co-host or accompany you as a guest? Are you each different? How do you handle those differences and maintain those relationships? Do we just resign ourselves to differences or actively try to find common ground to build on?
If you ever visit my home, or have ever been a guest, you will be familiar with the most important house rule I have. It’s actually the only house rule, aside from common etiquette.
It is so important, in fact, that I write it on the wall! I point it out to new visitors and explain that I am quite serious about this concept. It is not just a friendly expression for me, it is a principle, intended to create an atmosphere of sincere welcome.
So what is it, you ask?!
It’s a Spanish phrase, the title of this post: “Mi Casa Es Su Casa”. It means “My House is Your House”, “Make Yourself at Home”, “Welcome”.
One of the highest compliments you can pay to me, or any host who upholds the “Mi Casa Es Su Casa” welcome practice, is to make yourself at home. Entirely. I want to walk into a room and find you going through the cabinets trying to find the coffee mugs or a roll of paper towel, or head first in the freezer digging through my baking stash looking for the perfect snack for a craving! To me, that means you feel welcome and comfortable enough to “make yourself @ home”.
As my tribe already knows (from my email last week, where I explained why there wouldn’t be a new blog post..) I just moved into a different house!! A whole new space to create a home. And, as you know (check out my Homemaker post), homemaking is my jam!! I am one happy camper right now lol. Unpacking, organizing and settling in, enjoying the views, nature and the new neighborhood, planning for Christmas. And I already have a spot picked out to write my house rule on the wall!!!
Come visit & make yourself at home 😊
xo Deena
