Girl Crush

I'm coming to you today with a major rant and I hope you'll bear with me as I blow off some steam about something. I'm really, sincerely hoping you will let me know your honest-to-God thoughts on this, even if they're different from mine.
That's what all this is about - my blog and my connecting with other women. To sometimes just get in and dig around in the nitty gritty about some of this.

Here goes...

RANT WARNING!!

I’m appalled.

My stomach is in knots and I’m actually nauseous.

I just heard a song for the first time and am very, very disappointed in the message.

Sick actually.

I know it’s just a song, but like most songs, they are inspired by a life event or someone’s experience.

And the message this one is sending made me instantly ill. And angry. Pretty strong emotions.

I don’t often take stands on issues, but I’m practicing listening to my instincts, and finding my voice.

And I want to hear from you what you think.

What pushes your buttons and sets you off?

 Within the first couple lines of this song, I’d already caught on to where it is going.

The story the lyrics are telling.

Yes, it’s true, I am not a fan of sad songs or sad stories. I also don’t listen to country music very often, and it seems the majority of sad songs come from country artists. But this is more than sad. It’s disheartening, disappointing, demoralizing, degrading, pathetic.

In My Opinion.

“Girl Crush” by Little Big Town is the one that hit me so hard today. I’m sure there are many others like it out there, but this is what triggered me today. If you aren’t familiar with it, trust me, you probably shouldn’t search it up right now, except to learn what not to do if your man is cheating.

Yup, a country song about a cheating man, no surprise there lol! but what I hate (and I don’t use that word often) is how little this woman values herself. Instead of ditching the loser she knows is being unfaithful, she stays in the relationship, supposedly sporting a ‘girl crush’ on the woman he’s messing around with. Wishing she was as good as the ‘other woman’, so her man would want her just as much.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am blown away by the forgiveness some woman can offer in this type of situation once the philanderer comes clean (or gets caught), sincerely intends to change and make it work, and she is willing to give him another chance. I couldn’t do it. And for that reason, I have to reluctantly respect anyone who can. But this song is about someone who knows it’s going on, and has chosen to stay, thinking of herself as less desirable than his new fling.

I have always been drawn to the wall-flowers, the quiet ones that don’t feel confident enough to fit in, to participate, the ones who are trying to be invisible. My Mom said I was always like that with other kids. It truly upsets me when others don’t think they’re good enough. I have experienced that many times myself. Of course it’s easy to spout out advice, encouraging others to have more confidence, respect themselves more, make tough decisions that put themselves first, leave a cheater; but I know it’s not easy and society doesn’t exactly support us.

My purpose in ranting today about this song, and my reaction to it, is to make a point about not accepting disrespectful treatment from others, and especially from yourself. You are already every bit as good as any ‘other woman’, the ones you think are prettier, slimmer, smarter, richer, funnier, more successful, (insert your list of lack) than you.

You are enough. YOU ARE WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH.

You are unique and perfect just as you are. You are valuable beyond measure and IT’S OK TO ADMIT THAT. To own it. I am going to keep reminding you of those facts. Because it reminds me too. It’s taken me a long time to get stronger. We never know the battles, the struggles, others are facing if we judge from the outside. That’s why it’s so very important to always practice kindness and don’t assume we’re seeing the whole picture.

And that’s what appalled and wounded me the most about this song - the message it was giving to women. It’s poison. Especially to any woman already struggling in this type of situation.

We should be admiring other women for all their amazing qualities. Even more important - let them know how much we respect them, are inspired by them & appreciate their example. That kind of ‘girl crush’ is very different from the one in this song. Oh! and can we all just agree to a non-competition clause? (check out a post about this on my FB page)!

When I first heard the song, I wanted to post my reaction here on the blog, but then reconsidered going that public with my own strong opinion. I ran it by my trusted tribe first, because I truly value their instincts. They responded with their support. I considered the advice I’ve received from numerous sources about being real, raw & relatable; to accept that sharing with this intent will align those who can hear their voice through mine.

We don’t have to agree, but rather, start talking about subjects that are real.

I want to know your honest feelings about this subject.

Phew! That was kinda heavy, but I do really look forward to hearing from you. Please comment below, email or DM my social – however you prefer. If you aren’t already in my tribe, don’t wait - WE NEED YOU THERE!! Here’s a link to sign up for my Insider’s list & get a FREE GIFT from me when join the tribe.

Stop by the next mirror you see, take a good look, SMILE :) and say

“Hello Beautiful!”

xo Deena