First Moon
Where were you when you got your first period?
We remember getting our first period as vividly as our first kiss or the birth of our first baby.
If you were fortunate enough to have been prepared, it probably wasn’t too traumatic.
Women have managed this spontaneous cyclical physical programming since the dawn of time. Some feel it’s a blessing, most, a curse. Of course, it usually depends how desperately you’re hoping it’ll show up!
There are numerous terms referring to menstrual cycles and the period when we actually shed the bloody lining of our uterus, but “curse” is a very common one. Here’s a few others I’ve come across:
Aunt Flo
Time of the Month
Shark Week
On the Rag
Crimson Tide
Mother Nature
Code Red
Bloody Mary
Lady Business
Carrie
Girl Flu
Monthly
Monthly Friend
Little Friend
Riding the Cotton Pony
Moon Time
The most beautiful term, and concept, that I’ve encountered for the initiation of our periods as young women is “First Moon”.
In some native cultures, girls were considered sacred during their first moon. They were now blessed with the ability to give life. Girls were taken to a small lodge by their mothers, grandmothers, or aunts where they could be close to the natural world. There they were taught about their new role as a woman. The first moon was highly honored and celebrated with dignity and respect - a rite of passage into womanhood.
Now, contrast that practice with the one of old testament biblical times… where women were considered ‘unclean’ during their period. One definition of ‘unclean’ that is attributed to biblical origin is: “having a physical or moral blemish so as to make impure according to the laws, especially the dietary or ceremonial laws; unclean animals or unclean persons.” The law stated that not only were menstruating women ceremonially unclean, but anyone or anything that touched them or their bed or anything the women sat on, was now unclean, needed to be thoroughly cleansed and if, God forbid, a man ‘laid’ with her, he remained unclean for an additional 7 days, as well as any bed he slept in*. Granted, anyone with a discharge (including men discharging semen) was under some of the same laws, male or female, and once the discharge was gone, they had to make a couple sacrifices (including a sin offering) to atone for their discharge. So, boys & men were also penalized for ejaculating, but that bodily function, unlike menstruating, is generally controllable.
Medieval times were only slightly better. The semen ejaculation law was apparently abandoned by then, so it was only women who bore the brunt of discharge disgrace and ‘dirty’ disdain. Women who didn’t free bleed into their clothes (seriously… ewwww), wore rags to absorb their flow, as well as little pouches of herbs around their neck or waist to cover the scent, as there was still a lot of religious shame around menstruation.
Now, before the religious among us report me to the high priest, I do understand, and make concession to clarify, that this law was ‘Old Testament’. If you’re not familiar with the bible, ‘Old Testament’ means that this was before Jesus appeared and many old laws were no longer enforced. Even in our lifetimes, without a modern-day Jesus to change the rules, we have seen some significant laws change - like legalizing liquor, gay marriage, strip shows, women voting and marijuana. But it can take generations to see those changes reflected at the core of our cultures. Acquired beliefs and value systems do not update automatically like software when a code is rewritten. The ‘rules’ a society has established, been raised to accept and adhere to, and the circumstances they understand exist if those are broken, creates a lingering lack of trust when those rules are abandoned and archived. I see a strong parallel in how we still view women who are menstruating.
Throughout history, females, starting from an early age, have been conditioned to understand that their fate, their unavoidable feminine fate, would render them undesirable and unclean in some degree to most people.
They carried the shame of this curse, doing whatever possible to hide the affliction, so as not to make others uncomfortable or repulsed in their awareness of what the woman’s body was doing naturally. Top this with the hormonal fluctuations that accompany periods, bloating, cramps, smells, and all the inconveniences, and it’s no wonder women struggle to get through this phase each month, dreading its reappearance.
I recently asked a large community of mothers how they helped their daughters with this transition into womanhood. What I learned was heartwarming and very encouraging news in the direction of changing our culture’s perception of periods. Women revealed their own childhood memories, some more positive than others, and shared how they have now coached and guided their daughters through this phase. The large majority, regardless of their own experience, made the effort to intentionally prepare for and celebrate the First Moon. There were stories ranging from full-on parties (including cake, gifts, and even boys) to daughters who preferred to let the event go unrecognized, even if Mom was looking forward to making a deal of it.
I paused to question my initial reaction to inviting boys to a First Moon party, but on 2nd thought, I had to applaud the ones who extended those invitations, as well as the boys (& their parents who supported them) in accepting. Fostering an open, honest welcoming of this natural transition into womanhood, goes a long way to create cultural change, especially when we include males! While we’re at it, why aren’t we celebrating hysterectomies and menopause? Instead, most of us still consider ‘female issues’ unspeakable topics in most conversations. Yes, these are personal subjects, of a private nature, but that is different than the inferior/weaker sex/cursed connotation of shame that surrounds discussions of our reproductive system. I’m willing to bet that boys & men are more curious to understand than repulsed to hear how our bodies work. It’s not their faults that centuries of programming has instilled in them a notion that we menstruating women are ‘unclean’.
Tune into your own thoughts as you see, hear, and speak - it likely isn’t often, but any time female issues come up, does it make you feel uncomfortable? Do you avoid sharing in the conversation, or find yourself joking derogatorily along with others about periods and such? How embarrassed are we if our tampon or pad supply falls out of our purse or is on public display as we go through the till? Why are we hiding our periods or anything associated with them?
As women, we can help and support the cultural change necessary to make a difference for our daughters and granddaughters, nieces and cousins, and the female descendants of all our loved ones for generations to come.
We bleed for ~2280 days of our lives. Let’s not get caught up in that false old concept that we are ‘unclean’ and somehow disgusting to others. That’s giving up a lot of our precious life trying to hide our womanhood. It perpetuates a negative perception of periods to the next generation, female AND male. We can do better. We are the proud owners of periods. We can own our womanhood too - with pride. We want women to know they can speak openly about their female issues to receive understanding from their family & friends, and to seek supporting information, and medical care, without shame.
I’ll start us off here, by practicing what I preach!
If it’s TMI, then there is your 1st example of how this topic makes you feel uncomfortable! This is your first & last warning not to proceed if you don’t want to hear where I am in my menstrual journey..
I am post-menopausal, but had a hysterectomy when I was 40. (Best. Thing. Ever. BTW! OmG, what a relief to be period-free! It had become quite a pain. Plus! I was able to recover as a 40 yo vs facing it somewhere down the road in my 70s). What many women aren’t aware of, is that, in most cases, your ovaries can be left behind to keep producing hormones for a natural progression into menopause. That was my case. Later, when I did start experiencing menopausal symptoms, my family doctor suggested a saliva test to determine exactly what hormones needed replacing, versus throwing a potentially cancer-encouraging hormone cocktail at my system. Once we had those results, a simple Rx for hormone replacement cream was all it took to relieve the hot flashes. It’s amazing how many women have never been offered these options. I hope in publishing this information, you, or someone you know, will benefit from it.
Now, it’s your turn. If you would rather not share your experiences publicly in the comments, feel free to send them to me directly** via email or DM. I’ll respect your privacy. My purpose is to connect with and support you. Trust me, as a former nurse, I have had numerous conversations about, and am very comfortable with, pretty much any human body topic. What I’m offering is not medical advice, but rather a safe place for you to explore your experiences and voice your opinions.
Let’s celebrate our Fabulous Femininity!
xo Deena
*Look it up for yourself if you don’t believe me! It’s in Leviticus 11:19-33
**All my social links are listed at the top & bottom of every page of my website and my email (uglowgrl2@gmail.com) can also be found on the Contact page.
