3 Secret Weapons I use to Get S#!t Done!

There I was, stuck in perfection paralysis, spinning in circles, chasing so many passions, with no idea which path would lead to ‘my purpose’. I was reading all the things, taking all the courses, following all the accounts, soaking up all the content I could find pertaining to all the interests and skills I was considering building into a business. There was so much I wanted to share with the world! But which one(s) and how?

When friends and family first suggested I use this or that skill to help others, and make money doing it, I was often surprised that these talents were seen as special or unique enough to be needed by anyone, and that they would pay for it! As I started to daydream of the possibility of growing any of my passions into real businesses, I felt inspired and excited, yet also hesitant and scared; I was completely lost as to where to start. Was I ready to be that visible? Was I ready to be seen as an entrepreneur? What if I failed dismally?

The easy part for me was creating graphics, coming up with business names, setting up social media and email accounts. But then what? Every podcast I heard, the books and articles I consulted and the coaches I followed, had incredibly valuable advice for entrepreneurial women who were already established in their businesses. These women had products yielding income streams, with services and clients, resulting in data and stats that could be analyzed to determine where growth and expansion was possible. Learning about all of this made me feel less competent, less qualified, and suffering from a full-blown case of “Imposter Syndrome”. Even if you’ve never heard of this affliction, I bet you’ve suffered from it. It’s a nasty auto-immune disease that attacks us from the inside out. Some of the symptoms include feeling inferior, unworthy, unqualified, and unprepared; wanting to play small or stay under a comfortable ceiling. I still struggle with this.

Like anything that holds us back, it’s best to start by calling it out.

That started for me when I first heard the term “Imposter Syndrome” and, with huge relief, discovered that it’s a common malady, especially among female entrepreneurs. I recognized those cruel, self-limiting symptoms and wanted to know more about treating them. If you have successful friends or family with flourishing careers, then you may understand how overwhelming and intimidating it can be to be amongst that kind of power group, comparing and measuring yourself against their achievements. But guess what? Every coach I’ve heard speak about Imposter Syndrome confirms that even people we consider uber successful and famous, still suffer from feelings of inadequacy and all the other symptoms of this self-destructive disease.

Then, right smack dab in the middle of a pandemic, for some reason only the universe fully understands, I decided to sign up for a local marketing school. It was led by an enthusiastic and energetic female entrepreneur and author whose content resonated with me. I’d been following her for a while on social media and had even started reading one of her books. At the time, I had several irons in the fire, including acting and modeling, social media management, working with a network marketing company and doing Reiki energy healing. From the research I’d done, I had to admit to myself that I was somewhat of a “Multi-Passionate Entrepreneur” - a title that sounded much more promising and purposeful than my unfocused, confused state would imply.

When I finally took the leap into Lyndsie’s 6-week marketing school, the timing couldn’t have been better - something I recognized within the first couple weeks. Markets had dried up due to all the health restrictions in place, which made the network marketing sales more challenging. I was hosting and participating in several online events, but was questioning whether this was a business I wanted to continue in. The sales experience had given me an incredible opportunity to connect with women across North America to grow a network of friends and colleagues, while expanding my audience. The content I shared on all the social networks provided a creative outlet that I craved and thoroughly enjoyed. But I felt like its season was over. I was ready to move on and dig deeper; find a better fit.

While working through the first exercises and assignments in Lyndsie’s YYC FemPreneur’s Marketing School I did dig deeper, much deeper, into each interest on my list that I was considering monetizing, as well as my reasons for choosing these as potential businesses. Lyndsie quickly identified one that stood out amongst the others - one she felt I should definitely pursue - writing! This may have been partially due to her own personal experience with authoring two books and recognizing in me a similar inclination to help others by connecting this way. For whatever reason she pointed me in this direction, I am eternally grateful that she had the insight and directness to encourage me to write.

Behind the scenes, I was doing some intense soul searching; examining who I was at this point in my life and why I struggled with feeling safe to be visible, to go big and follow my dreams, to put myself first.

The mindset shift that resulted from this self-awareness work fueled the internal changes that I needed to start dealing with Imposter Syndrome and accept one of the key concepts Lyndsie taught us - “that we have a moral obligation to share what we know”. In order to do that, it was so important that I first acknowledge and accept a) that what I know is valuable and b) it would help others. With this fresh mindset and an understanding of how I could reach people to serve them, I was ready - things were aligned and the timing was right for the next chapter.

One of the first things I did, was wrap up the network marketing gig a month earlier than I’d planned. I was grateful for what it had brought to my life, but I was so ready to move on to other ventures. Blogging had been on my mind for years.

I had notes tucked away in various files on my devices where they were safely hidden from anyone’s eyes but mine. It was time to use my voice, my experience and knowledge to help others.

After all, I have a moral obligation to do so, right? As givers and nurturers, there’s no better way to reach through our shield of resistance than to invite us to help others. If that is the only incentive to compel us into action, then that’s a great place to start. We will likely be so far inside the serving space by the time we realize the numerous benefits we are also reaping, that our momentum will carry us beyond any fear that had us doubting the journey in the first place. I have been amazed to discover how helping others has inadvertently helped me.

Some of the first evidence of this was found right in the marketing school. It was here that I met the fabulous Noreen Music, as well as several other incredibly enthusiastic and supportive students and alumni. As I was learning the skills needed to connect with potential clients and launch my business pursuits, I was blessed to build a new network of the same type of women who I had often felt inferior to.

Here were women in all stages of building their businesses, encouraging each other in a non-competitive environment; women I could support and learn from without fear of judgement.

When I arrived in this group, I had chronic Imposter Syndrome leading to Perfection Paralysis over Multi-Passions...! I was overwhelmed with creative ideas and didn’t feel qualified or educated in any process of monetizing any of these. I was stuck in a perpetual research & reading cycle that wasn't producing any results, except for more inspiration to pursue more passions! Phew!

Then I took the leap to join YYC FemPreneur marketing school & learned to step out of my comfort zone & just DO IT! Get messy. Try new things even if I don't know exactly what I'm doing or feel I'm ready. My blog was born soon after and I chose some passions to focus on. I'm thrilled to be writing and feeling less stretched to do all the things that I think I could monetize. Instead, I'm just doing some for pleasure, content in knowing I’ve explored their potential and decided for now not to build a business on them.

I learned from various sources how important it is to be more intentional with my time, to block it and commit to the schedule that I choose for each day. Efficiency and effectiveness is greatly improved when I’m not bouncing from task to task, with multiple distractions along the way. I'm still working on blocking my time, setting & honoring boundaries, and expressing these to others so we can live in harmony… That has been one of my greatest struggles as an entrepreneur. With the help & support of others, I now understand the importance of these skills, can identify productivity gaps, and was patiently shown how to utilize technical tools that improve workflow and outcomes.

I have found that on the days when I embrace the value I have to offer to others, I feel more accountable than if I’m only doing the work for my own pleasure.

This brings me to the 3 secret weapons I use to get s@#t done!

1. ACCEPT I am enough. Accept I'm safe to take a leap and get messy. Accept what I'm doing is important & will help others. Accept the paths that align with me & follow my instincts.

2. ASK! This was a tough one for me - already struggling with Imposter Syndrome & not wanting anyone to know I didn't have all the s@#t figured out - but I now know there are so many people who know more & are very happy to help.

3. CONNECT with like-minded people for encouragement, collaboration & inspiration (also see "ASK"!)

The incredible group of fellow FemPreneurs I met has been such a beautiful addition to my world! One of my goals was to do more public speaking. When Lyndsie’s invite went out to ask if anyone would like to participate in the first YYC FemPreneur’s Marketing & Leadership conference, I jumped right in with both feet! I didn’t even know what I would speak about. My blog had been born months before and I was posting articles regularly, but what could I offer to businesswomen at a marketing and leadership conference? What was I an expert in? Other than some social media management I did, there was no other business I’d built. That dormant Imposter Syndrome threatened to launch another attack on my confidence. I knew I better dig deep and fast to unearth the gems I had that would be of value to these impressive women I was in the company of.

What I unearthed in my excavation was realizing just how profoundly the practice of manifesting with intention had changed my life over the past several years.

It was something I blogged on about, and it seemed to be a natural fit for helping others create their best life too. So, right through the Christmas season, when we received the heartbreaking news that my mom had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer a week before her December 23rd 75th birthday, I put my energy into building a presentation for January.

The restrictions that were still in place due to the global covid pandemic, combined with winter travel conditions, made it difficult to get to her before her sudden death 6 weeks later. Losing her was a painful and powerful reminder that our lives are finite.

We have an allotted time on earth in which to learn, grow, laugh, play, love and serve.

Many of us, I venture to guess mostly women, get so wrapped up in serving that we’ve forgotten how to do the rest.

That has been my focus when I write, one of the things I feel a strong moral obligation to share, and, ultimately, what I created my conference presentation around. I am here to serve women who are searching for ways to create more abundance in their lives, because I want to help them rediscover their dreams and make them happen!

The conference was phenomenal. My presentation was well-received and there was an interesting and unexpected reaction to it. These women had gathered for 4 days to hear the wisdom of over 30 female entrepreneurs as they shared their best advice in serving others through their businesses. What they noticed and appreciated about my presentation on manifesting, was that it gave them an opportunity to pause from learning more about how to serve others, and look inward, to reconnect with the little girl there that has hopes and dreams, who wants to explore and play without fear.

As they found and experimented with those feelings, they felt refreshed and reenergized, recharged, and refilled with enthusiasm to continue serving others. They had examined and reaffirmed their reasons for doing what they do as a way to help people while using their talents.

Women are pulled in so many directions; conflicted, as they try to fill numerous roles and not drop any balls. But they are losing themselves, exhausted and out of touch with their dreams and passions. I help them search their hearts to find the dreams they’ve forgotten about or have abandoned and then help them learn ways to manifest their best life with intention.

Through my writing, I also want to help women give voice to their experiences as a way to heal and grow, to be seen and heard; to celebrate their accomplishments, their natural and acquired knowledge and skills, their many beautiful qualities, their strength, resiliency and inherent worth.

This was so evident as we were living through the recent pandemic. Women took on more roles and responsibilities, while accommodating changes in their work environments, managing home-schooling, juggling all the extra health safety requirements, not to mention any isolation and quarantining they may have faced. Each person has had unique experiences, struggles and triumphs that I feel compelled to record. These need to be remembered for our own reference and for future generations. There is much to be gained from the lessons we learned, much to be celebrated as we adapted, pivoted, and ultimately survived and thrived. And although many are so over it and would prefer never to glance in the rear-view mirror, I feel it’s so important that we record the stories from every perspective.

Writing for me has been immensely therapeutic. Publishing my writing publicly was scary and liberating. The feedback I’ve received has shown me that although I have not yet monetized this skill, it is serving others as I share what I know. Stepping out of my comfort zone, when I didn’t feel I was entirely prepared, has stalled the onset of Imposter Syndrome and its evil partner Perfection Paralysis, allowing me to offer my services as a Mindset/Manifesting Coach & Reiki Master.

I encourage every woman to grab themselves by the bra straps and take the first scary step toward their dreams. It doesn’t have to be a big step. Just a step. One at a time. Stop to breathe! Acknowledge and celebrate each step. Look back occasionally to see how far you’ve come. You’ll be impressed.

You are amazing!