3 Contracts You Should Cancel ASAP

Contracts are usually not carved in stone, but some could be lurking in your DNA..

I’m not talking about genetics that could potentially predispose you to diabetes or heart disease, but rather contracts, ones that either you or your ancestors chose, consciously or unconsciously.. and they’re screwing up your life now.

There are theories that have existed for ages suggesting that generational inheritance of certain patterns can run through families for centuries. You likely believe in these theories to some extent, whether you’re aware of it or not. They’re quite commonly accepted, even if you’ve never heard them labeled this way. Contracts & vows of this nature can be a blessing or a curse.

Think of a characteristic that is often referred to amongst your family members as something they’re known for, something that links them by this common thread. Have you heard it said that your family always runs late, can’t get ahead in life, can always find trouble or picks fights, are hermits, cheapskates, or holier-than-thouers? Those are some examples of characteristics that could possibly be generational contracts or vows. Are they a blessing or a curse? Only you can decide. Let’s dig a little deeper.

Picture it. Sicily. 1623. (this is more fun if you can you picture it being said by Sophia Petrillo from the show ‘Golden Girls’ lol).. ok, where were we? Oh ya, Sicily (or wherever your ancestors originated). Your Great Great (x7) Grandparents are modest, uneducated paupers, living remotely, working for a mean land baron who insists they work hard every day, dawn to dusk and pray harder on Sundays. Phew!! Quite a picture. Very common though from what I understand of history. What the heck does that have to do with you? Let’s excavate this for artifacts and I bet we find some clues about contracts.

For many generations, I assume this family had probably lived within the same 20-mile radius, worked for the same family of land barons, kneeled at the same altar & ate the same sparse staples — accepting their fate and struggling on. In accepting this fate, it became part of their identity and settled like a vow into their subconscious. If some (usually young) upstart attempted to defy or challenge the parameters of their existence, he or she risked facing punishment at the worst & disdain at the least, with the rare exception of encouragement or humor. In other words, they were pretty much locked into this for their entire life and didn’t expect anything differently for their children & grandchildren. They may have wished for more, for better, but remember these contracts? They are lurking deep in the psyche, their power often undetected & underestimated — rarely challenged.

Let’s list the possible/potential contracts in this family for sake of example, then consider how some of them may translate for their descendants many generations later.

· Modesty / Moderation

· Illiteracy

· Poverty / Scarcity

· Isolation

· Subservience / Obedience

· Martyrdom

· Chastity

· Piety

· Silence

· Safety

Now, I venture to guess there are more, but this will give us something to poke around in. I chose 3 contracts to cancel for myself recently.

Once you start, you’ll find yourself pausing to consider if long-held assumptions & perceptions are accurate or if they might be contracts with an option to be challenged & revoked.

Here are examples of how some of these could be presenting in your life:

1. Vow of Modesty / Moderation — your ancestors faced criticism or worse if they tried to rise above their place in society. They were uncomfortable having more than others in their social class and either hid it or gave it away, afraid someone might call them out on it — accusing them of being hoity toities & snobs, or for acquiring these gains unscrupulously. It was expected of someone in their particular class, religion & era to exhibit modesty & moderation. They also had to manage their assets carefully so as not to starve or put their family at risk. There were many reasons to adopt this mindset. Where does it come into play for you centuries later? Is there an element of expectation in your circles regarding modesty & moderation? Has anyone raised a brow or taken a jab at you over a purchase you made that was expensive & fancy (or appeared to be)? Have you felt uncomfortable dining at a classy restaurant or golfing a PGA course because you were sure someone was going to kick you out — detecting an imposter impersonating a millionaire? That would be an example of you bumping up against the old vow of modesty or even poverty/scarcity. It could also be illiteracy if this happens when you’re mingling with scholars, professionals and business tycoons.

Shall we carry on then? Let’s try another one on for size.

2. Vow of Subservience / Obedience — same family, same situation. How did they approach their station in life related to this vow? Let’s listen in: “Best to keep your head down, nose right on the ol’ grindstone and don’t cause any trouble. There are people worse off than you waiting for their chance to make the modest living you do. Better remember that when your back aches, your hands blister and the sun burns your shoulders. You don’t have it so bad that it can’t be worse. Suck it up. Keep quiet”… oh! there’s another vow, and a contract for safety in exchange for their silence, subservience & obedience. The contracts just keep stacking up — all in the name of survival. I bet you can see where this one shows up in your life. You’re getting good at this. Let’s try another one.

3. Vow of Piety (let’s throw in Chastity, Martyrdom & Isolation in here too) — your God-fearing ancestors had the threat of dire consequences held over them if they erred from the ancient laws that ruled the land, the church and much of the world. An eternity in the fires of hell is nothing to be sneezed at when you’re contemplating coveting the neighbor’s wife, his maidservant, manservant or any of his cattle, chickens.. you get the idea. Fear. Deeply reinforced to keep everyone on the straight & narrow path to utopia. You surely don’t want to miss that! or disappoint your Ma & Pa or any of the bishops they’re trying to impress with their piety. Obviously, chastity goes here without saying, with a side order of isolation to keep the naughty boys & other temptations away. Martyrdom too will earn you a better seat next to the almighty’s throne one day — order up a double of that. So now, here you are in the 21st century, berated at every choice by an inner (and several outer) critics if or when you a) curse, b) drink, c) party, d) overindulge/overspend/overeat, e) pamper yourself, f) show some cleavage, g) flirt, h) have sex, i) have too much fun, j-z) insert your own list of sins…

On we go then.

By now I trust that you are more than capable of doing your own research into the contracts or vows you’ve inherited from your forebears. Here I’ve shone a light onto the dark side of some, but entertainment value aside, I propose that there is a grain of truth to what we’ve uncovered. Admittedly, these were accepted values & practices that kept the gene pool thriving long enough for you to appear, and therefore you have much to be grateful for and can appreciate the merit of these choices. I bet you’re curious how those vows found their way to you. Good question..

Whether they’re in your DNA or your soul, or both, is debatable — they’re definitely in your psyche — nature vs nurture? Who really knows?

What matters most is that you are aware of their existence as an entity separate from you as a person.

You don’t have to accept them as an irremovable element of your character. They can be taken off altogether or retrofitted to work however they best suit the time & space you occupy, as well as open the way toward your goals vs blocking you in outdated antiquated versions.

How will you recognize these? I’ve found that when I’m feeling uncomfortable or notice myself worrying about other’s opinions or I hear my inner bully accusing me of, well, anything really, it’s a sign I need to question my reaction. What’s really at the root of the judgement and accusations I’m sensing? And usually, it can be attributed to something along the lines of these contracts. They primarily initiated from honorable values, not meant to harm, and therefore also have high potential as positive forces. Don’t discard them entirely. Give them a chance in all fairness if you can see their value. If not, then you could try something I’ve recently been hearing more about. I just tried it under the full moon last week!

Canceling soul-level contracts and breaking generational vows, revoking their hold on you, is a powerful mindset shift tool.

At this point, it doesn’t matter what their origin is. If you recognize an ingrained belief has its grip on you, that’s the first step to breaking free of them or focusing on strengthening the positive aspects they possess.

Trust me, you’ll bump into some suspicion & jealousy, maybe criticism (ok, yes for sure criticism, you hoity toity young upstart) as you leave the beaten path of complacency. When you’re no longer resigned to accept fate & choose instead to challenge the narrative, this will undoubtably make others uncomfortable. That’s their contract to deal with. You’ll recognize it. Now I’m not saying a life of full-on debauchery and mayhem will be the outcome, but if you can allow yourself to challenge the constraints that these ancient agreements have you wrapped in, then the potential for your life is limitless! You can change the trajectory for your descendants and the descendants of those you inspire. You can give yourself permission to live and act differently than you’ve been inadvertently programmed to do. Now that you know better — you can do better. Simple as that.

Still wondering what I did under the full moon?

Here’s a brief summary — I got into our hot tub after a sage smudge, invited my angels & guides to join me and brought 3 of the contracts to mind that I felt most needed my attention. I focused on 1 at a time, considering their pros & cons, then adamantly declared that their contract was no longer valid, had no more hold on me, was irrelevant, recanted, rescinded, revoked, broken, and gone. Anything I could think of to make sure I wasn’t misunderstood lol. I don’t think there’s any special formula, just use what works for you. I spoke this until I felt they had been heard & set in motion. (I’m not sure how to describe that, just trust me — you’ll know when you know). I chose to honor and welcome the elements of these that would serve to strengthen me, but with the caveat that if that changed, all deals were off. I set some positive intentions for goals I have and right about then the mosquitoes found me.

> Did I feel different after doing that? Yes. Definitely more relaxed, calmer, stronger and grounded — in closer touch with something spiritual.
> Did the full moon make a difference? No idea haha, but I definitely enjoyed its presence as I invited deeper healing & strength. And the experience has stuck with me for days.
 
You don’t need to wait for a full moon to try this! Who actually knows if the moon has the impact that many believe, but anytime you can do something for yourself with a strong intention to get in touch with your intuition, welcome healing & abundance — then just do it. And I’m willing to bet Sophia Petrillo would agree (or have some kind of opinion on it)!

Plug in the shredder, you’re about to cancel some contracts!

xo Deena