Is there anything that helps when you just feel like being invisible, because you’re too busy juggling life to shine? Can you remember the last time you felt beautiful? Let’s #FindHer! 

It’s 3 days since you’ve showered. You haven’t been able to go to a salon in forever. Your hair is matted with sweat, grease & dry shampoo. You grab a hat and pray for obscurity as you round up the crew to head out the door, hoping you don’t run into anyone you saw yesterday > cuz you’re wearing the same clothes, same make-up and same exhausted attempt at a smile (Wait! Can you even remember the last time you brushed your OWN teeth??!)… and where are the clean masks?

There may have been just enough time to make some efforts to freshen up, to be quasi presentable:
• you took a quick swipe with a cold washcloth, and/or
• spritzed on some of that body spray sample that’s been rolling around the bathroom junk drawer (you forgot to add deodorant to the grocery list… again..)
• and while you were at it, maybe popped in a breath mint, just in case. Nothing worse than morning breath + coffee breath. One of the kidlets are sure to call you out on it when you kiss them at drop-off - if you’re even doing drop offs… fingers crossed they don’t shut down the schools again or you can add “Teacher” onto your already long list of household duties.

Aaand there they go again, fighting over the Frosted Flakes. The baby just spit up his breakfast while wrapped around your knees.. yup, it’s looking like another Hat Day. Maybe tonight there’ll be time for a shower.

Or maybe you’re working shift, on more than one job, juggling a heavy study schedule, caregiver for a loved one or a combination of all of the above. How confident did you feel in your last Zoom meeting? Did you have the camera on? Were you wearing a bra? How about pants… with a zipper!?

You are not alone. I hear ya! I feel your pain.

Any stage of life can bring us to a place of sheer exhaustion, where we don’t have the time or incentive to make self-care a priority, but it’s a dangerous place to set up camp.

Right now, we are faced with some extra challenges, trying to navigate a new environment that appears as though it could be less temporary than we first anticipated.

While you may be feeling less than your best, maybe even low-key disgusting, aiming for invisibility, your self-confidence and energy dipping below pre-maternal, pre-employment, pre-student or pre-covid levels, there are quick, easy, inexpensive ways to give your soul a lift! Ways that will have you admiring yourself in mirrors & reflections instead of cringing. 

Stay with me here! I know this sounds like I’m adding to your to-do list, but you matter too! You deserve what makes you smile and feel warm inside, what brings some joy, refreshment or simple pleasure. You’ve been going through each day from task to task, your mind racing in panic that you can’t possibly get it all done, let alone fit in something that feels luxurious and far too indulgent.. but let’s explore this for just a minute and I’m sure we can find some gaps to slip in a bit of happy in your hours.

I’ve been there. I still am on many days.
In fact, I often consider showers a supreme luxury, even now, with my nest mostly empty.
Together, we can help you find your shine, to rock every day, even Hat Days!!
Let’s #FindHer again, that girl who takes a moment to check herself out in the mirror, or smiles for no apparent reason, feeling like there’s space to breathe and something to look forward to.

What’s the first 3 things you’d do if you had a day all to yourself? (besides napping lol!). How about ½ a day or a few hours? Now let’s get creative and think of ways to add something along those lines that would fit into a couple minutes here and there during your everyday life.

You might not have time for a long soak in a hot tub with a scented bath bomb, but could you pull out a tiny tube of deliciously scented lotion to pamper your chapped & over-washed hands while you’re waiting to pick up the kids or during a zoom meeting? You know the stuff - someone gifted it to you and you’re saving it for special occasions? How about lighting a candle you’ve reserved for that same bath that you never seem to have time for?

Well, sister, it is time to start thinking of every day as a special occasion! Any day, any time, is the right time to do something nice for yourself.

Give yourself permission to do the little things that would make someone else feel special and try it out on yourself. Even on Hat Days. ESPECIALLY on Hat Days! That’s when you likely need a little extra something the most. Think of this as putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, so that you are better equipped to help others.

While you’re at it, use your favorite perfume, every dang day! Otherwise, the next chance you have to get dolled up to do something festive, it will be old and rank. Same goes for lipstick and jewelry! Boom! Throw on a pretty scarf with that stained t-shirt and old jeans & you will feel put together and quite presentable. Those tall sexy boots? Yup, why save them to collect dust and go out of style. WEAR THEM! Use your fanciest mug and that expensive tea to celebrate getting out of bed today. The sun is shining through the kitchen window? Go stand there and soak it up for 2 minutes. Yes! Indulge yourself! See that gorgeous notepad your BFF gave you, write on it! When you refer to it while grabbing groceries or reading to-do lists, it will bring a smile as you think of her. Don’t save these things or think that you’ll stop and take the time another day, because tomorrow has no guarantee.

Do you tear yourself away from a warm, snuggly little one to go do laundry, when you’d rather cuddle awhile longer. Just cuddle. Nobody will go naked tomorrow if you don’t do the laundry. But that little person, pet, or the friend you’re talking to, will appreciate your time much more than the Maytag (does that brand still exist?! Lol)!

Some of these things may feel small, but if you can learn to treat yourself in small ways, accept the kind of grace and love that you would show others, then it will get easier. You will find you are less resistant to consider bigger ways to take care of yourself.

I’m sure you have heard all of this before, but we seem to need constant reminders that it’s ok! That it is important for our health & well-being, and that we can set an example. Here are some more things that count as self-care: limiting media, staying in bed a little longer in the morning, giving yourself extra time to respond to texts, wearing whatever you feel comfy in, turning off your meeting camera or using your favorite swear words!

Do these with intention. Be present. Watch for little details that you usually pass by and absorb whatever joy they offer your world.

Step outside for a minute and take 3 deep breaths. Feel the cool air on your face, the rough texture of tree bark against your fingers. Notice the song of a little bird at the feeder, see the sparkle of frost on the trees - really see, hear, taste, touch & smell the beauty surrounding you and in these small moments you will be blessed.

Now, you are ready to face the next Hat Day with a fresh outlook - find a hat you love & ROCK IT!

xo Deena

P.S. Looking for a great book that’s easy to pick up anytime for a quick mood boost? Keep a copy (or several copies!) of Neil Pasricha’s “The Book of Awesome” around the house. It’s my favorite book to gift to anyone. Check out Neil’s other books, his blog and podcast too! Lot’s of feel-good awesomeness!