Masks & mirrored glasses have something in common.

Yes, there’s the obvious, how they both cover a particular part of our face. But I recently experienced something with each that made me pause and wonder about how they affect our connection to others. How quickly we become conditioned to hide, to make less effort to connect.

Just like most of you do, I smile often at people and use my expressions to add context to my communication with others. But I was recently on a set, as an extra for the filming of a commercial, and wearing a mask, as per the new protocols that are in place. It’s not the first time I’ve been required to wear masks. I come from a nursing background, but it was rare that I was in a situation that one was necessary. Yet, for some reason, in this social context, I found I quickly dropped the impulse to add a smile. Hmm..

We’re talking about a lifetime of smiling naturally, usually without thinking about it. Like a reflex.

But in a short time, I caught myself wondering, what was the use, when they can’t see it anyway? It was a sad realization. To feel the loss of what I enjoy sharing with everyone.

Yes, I agree, that a smile can be heard in our voice, our tone, and is reflected in our eyes, but it felt strange to smile, unseen, behind my mask when not sharing actual conversation (which, when you think of it, is likely the case in about 50% or more of our encounters). What of those times when there aren’t any words, but there is acknowledgement or a gesture?

Communication experts estimate that communication is represented by 10% words, 30% sounds and 60% body language.

Then there’s the flip side. We’re hidden behind a mask. So, in theory, we could be making faces at someone, sticking our tongue out at them, or using any other sort of expression not usually used in casual social exchanges. All because of the screen this mask provides. You could be doing whatever, but it’s just not visible to anyone. That, to me, is fairly disconcerting. Anonymity isn’t always used constructively.

Case in point, it occurred to me just how similar this mask scenario is to ones involving mirrored sunglasses. Anonymity. Or some degree of it. I’ve always found it fascinating that what is usually done to hide someone’s identity in news reports, for instance, is to cover their eyes in some way. Sometimes this is by editing a picture or video to add a black box across their eyes. Mirrored glasses cause the same effect, although less drastic or much more esthetically pleasing.

When you’re behind a pair of mirrored glasses, you are aware that others can’t see your eyes, where you’re looking or any expressions you’re trying to either express or hide. Masks, I feel, do the same with our mouth. Can you recall how you feel when you’re wearing mirrored glasses? Can you relate to what I have experienced? Do you act differently? Or have you noticed a difference in others? What about masks? How about those days you’re behind a mask AND mirrored glasses?! lol

I wonder how this faux anonymity, this restriction of expressive communication, will effect the younger generations who will be raised to wear masks and interact with mask-wearers as a norm. How quickly will the rest of us quit smiling behind our masks? My hope is that we keep making the effort to connect with everyone, with or without our masks.

Social distancing doesn’t have to be social disconnecting.

Can we please remember we’re still the same humans behind those masks, even when we can’t actually see the kindness in each other’s smiles?

Next time I see you, I’ll be smiling behind my mask and I’ll know you’re smiling too!

xo Deena

P.S. Share this article with a friend - I’d love to hear what your thoughts are!